Rocky Mountain Wedding Page 6

  Shaking off Paige’s grip, she pushed to her feet. “My little girl needs me.” She stared them down, focusing her glare mainly on Avery, who’d pulled her toddler back into her lap. “What would you do if you were me?”

  The woman’s gaze dropped to the ground. She got it.

  “I’m going to look for her.” And no one could stop her. Not her friends and not Sawyer. Something had happened to Ruby when she became a mother. When she’d made the decision to adopt Brookie—to make the girl hers forever—her whole focus had shifted. And the only thing that mattered to her in the world was making sure her daughter was safe.

  Taking their silence as a victory, she stalked across the room, ripped open the closet door, and pulled out a coat. “Elsie and Julia, will you wait here in case she comes back?”

  “Well, of course, dear, but shouldn’t you eat some—”

  “Thank you.” She cut off Elsie before glancing at Paige, then Avery. “Are you two coming with me? Or am I doing this alone?”

  They exchanged a concerned look, but both stood, and Avery handed Lily off to her grandma.

  “Of course we’re coming with you,” Paige grumbled. “But you’re telling Sawyer we did everything in our power to try to stop you. Understand?”

  “Yes.” She would happily tell him she defied his orders to be part of the search party that was looking for Brookie. He didn’t get to take that away from her. He didn’t get to treat her like a child. Sawyer should know her well enough to know she didn’t need to be protected all the time. This was supposed to be a partnership, only he wasn’t giving her the chance to carry her part of the burden.

  He didn’t think she could handle it, but she would prove him wrong.

  * * *

  A frigid wind blew straight through her as Ruby got out of the car.

  Heavy gray clouds sagged over the mountains, shrouding the peaks in a gloomy haze. She’d always thought they were so beautiful—the towering granite spikes that loomed at a distance, but now they looked dangerous. Cold. Brookie could be out there somewhere, wandering alone in the unforgiving wilderness.

  They hadn’t found her yet.

  On the way over, Paige had called Ben to get an update, and he’d told her everyone was gathering in the park. They’d already had the police search the airport and bus stops, and they’d set up perimeters on the highway at both ends of town, he’d said. But they hadn’t found her. The next step was launching a foot search.

  Paige came around the car and gathered her in a half hug. “Look at this! Half the town must be here.”

  Staggering under the weight of it all, Ruby turned, taking in her first view of the park. It had always been one of her favorite spots in Aspen—a small manicured gem in the center of town. Green grass, a small playground, and a bandstand where they put on summer concerts. She and Sawyer and Brookie had had a picnic there just last week, enjoying the last of the Indian summer they’d experienced through October.

  Now, instead of kids playing and dogs chasing Frisbees, the park swarmed with orderly activity. A massive crowd had gathered around the bandstand. Police buzzed among them, handing out flyers, directing them.

  There had to be a hundred people here. All searching for Brookie. “Wow,” she whispered, hope percolating once again.

  “Look at all of these people,” Avery said, pulling on a wool cap. “We’ll find her for sure.”

  The sight of so many people here to help made Ruby believe it. “Come on.” She linked her arms through Paige’s and Avery’s, and the three of them made their way across the street. It wasn’t hard to find Sawyer. He stood in the center of the chaos, head ducked in to talk with one of the other officers on the scene. When he saw her approach, his jaw locked. “Thanks, Sommers. Keep me posted,” he said, dismissing the other man.

  Ruby’s heart ached with the need to be wrapped in his arms, to feel his solid body against hers to quiet the storm inside of her. But his stony expression slowed her steps. She wriggled away from her friends and stopped, studying him from a distance.

  Stress lined his mouth and eyes. His gaze wouldn’t quite meet hers. He marched over. “What’re you doing here?” His fatherly tone set her on edge. It almost sounded like he didn’t want her here.

  “I came to search for Brookie,” she ground out. “You can’t expect me to sit around and do nothing.” All she’d done was imagine the worst possible things that could’ve happened to her. At least if she was out here, moving, searching, she would be doing something.

  “Go back to the house, Ruby,” Sawyer said with an uncharacteristic coldness. He looked at Paige. “Take her home.”

  “Excuse me?” His sharp tone delivered a blow to her heart. “This is not your decision,” she informed him. “I’m staying. I’m going to search along with everyone else and you’re not going to stop me.”

  His cheeks seemed to hollow, like he’d aged ten years in a matter of minutes.

  “Um, we’ll just wait over there,” Paige murmured, dragging Avery toward a table where someone had set up a coffee station.

  “What’s the plan?” Ruby demanded before he could start lecturing her about taking it easy again.

  Sawyer stared at something over her shoulder. “Bryce and I are taking the ATVs up Aspen Mountain.”

  “You think she went up the mountain?”

  “I don’t know,” he snapped, turning his back to her. “I don’t know where she is.”

  She watched him stalk away, swallowing back tears. Why was he acting so distant? Sawyer never talked to her this way. He never raised his voice and dismissed her.

  She caught up with him and grabbed his arm. “I’m coming with you.”

  He jerked away. “There’s no way in hell I’m letting you come with us.” His head shook. “On an ATV, Ruby? Are you out of your mind?”

  She fought the sting the words caused. “I want to help.”

  He finally looked at her, straight into her eyes. She waited for him to pull her close, to stroke her cheek the way he so often did. Instead his face hardened. “You shouldn’t even be out here. The stress isn’t good for the baby.”

  “The baby is fine,” she nearly yelled. Pressing her eyes closed, she tried to regain control. “But Brookie isn’t. She’s alone, Sawyer. And I sure as hell am not going to sit on my ass at home while she’s out here somewhere.” This time she turned her back on him. He’d shut her out. He’d pushed her away when she needed him. When he needed her. “I’m staying,” she called over her shoulder. “So deal with it.” By the time she’d made it to Avery, Bryce, Paige, and Ben, the trembling in her hands had spread to her shoulders.

  Sawyer stood where she left him, upper body slumped, staring at the ground. An overwhelming sadness tempted her to run back to him, but he’d made it clear he didn’t want her around. Grinding her jaw against the tears, she latched herself on to her friends again. “Come on,” she said, tugging them toward the street. “We’re going to start searching the town.” She would knock on every door they passed until she found someone who’d seen Brookie.

  “Is Sawyer okay with that?” Avery asked uncertainly.

  “It doesn’t matter.” He wasn’t even acting like Sawyer. It was like he’d become someone else.

  “He’s scared,” Paige said, linking her arm through Ruby’s. “I’ve never seen him so scared.”

  Ruby kept walking. “He’s not acting scared. He’s acting angry.” At her. As if he blamed her for the whole thing.

  Avery slipped in front of her, cutting off Ruby’s steps. “Think of how this feels for him, sweetie. He’s used to being in control, solving people’s problems. But right now he feels as helpless as we do.”

  “Then why won’t he say that?” Instead of pushing her away? Instead of talking to her like she was five years old?

  “He’s in cop mode,” Paige said. “Trust me. I’ve seen it before. When he’s on a case, he doesn’t break his focus for anything. Especially not for emotions.”

  “But that’s not
fair. You can’t do that in a relationship.” She didn’t want him to hide that part of himself from her. That was real. He’d seen her cry so many times. He’d seen her at her worst. He didn’t always have to be the hero. He could hurt, too. He could be lost. Then she could help him find himself again just like he’d done for her. That was what a marriage had to be. They had to be in it together. “I want to be there for him. I want him to let me be there.”

  “Maybe that’s what he needs to hear.” Paige nudged her back toward the park.

  Her shoulders slumped. Her friends were right. Sawyer had shown her nothing but patience, especially when she hadn’t been willing to let him in all those months ago. He deserved that same patience from her.

  She glanced at the crowd milling around the park. “I should find him.” They had to start over, align themselves on the same side.

  Leaving her friends on the sidewalk, she rushed back to the bandstand, pushing her way through the crowd, searching the blurred faces for him.

  “Ruby.” Thomas snagged her sleeve. “How’re you holding up?” He gave her a hug, and she let herself steal an extra few seconds in his comforting, fatherly arms.

  “Okay,” she whispered. But she wasn’t. She was aching for Sawyer, aching for Brookie, aching for their little family. “Have you seen Sawyer?” she asked Thomas, forcing herself upright. “He was just here…”

  “He went off with Bryce, Isaac, and Ben. They’re headed up the mountain.”

  A crushing disappointment bore down on her.

  “Anything I can do for you?” Thomas asked.

  “No. Thank you.” No one but Sawyer could soothe that pain inside of her. He was the only one who could reassure her that they would be all right. That no matter what else happened, their love for each other would sustain them and bring them through. No one but Sawyer could steady her.

  And he was already gone.

  Chapter Seven

  Sawyer gunned the ATV up an embankment and jerked on the brakes. Standing, he tried to get a look at the trail above. Nothing but the massive trees and boulders, the endless wilderness stretching out in all directions. No sign of Brooklyn. Not a trace. She could be anywhere in the hundreds of thousands of acres surrounding them.

  A cold fury boiled inside of him, fueling him to crank the throttle.

  The machine tore up the trail, jostling his body, charging him with a surge of adrenaline, but he couldn’t move fast enough. Couldn’t change anything. Couldn’t rewind the day back into the night.

  How had he slept through the sound of the front door unlocking and opening? Why hadn’t he woken up? Why hadn’t he made absolutely sure Brookie was okay after the shock of hearing about the baby?

  He could’ve been more aware. Picked up on the fact that she wasn’t happy. He should’ve. This was on him. Ruby had been right to be concerned about her, yet he’d brushed it aside.

  A tree appeared in front of him. He jerked the handlebars and squeezed the brakes again, jolting the thing to a stop. Heavy breaths pressed into his ribs, echoing in his helmet.

  A cold wind boiled the murky clouds above him, blowing against him or maybe through him. Though sweat glazed his skin beneath his helmet and fleece, he shivered. God, where was Brookie?

  Shadows passed in front of his vision—the what-ifs building into a nightmare that threatened to take over.

  “Hawkins!”

  Bryce’s shout shattered the images.

  His cousin eased his ATV up next to him. “Damn. Slow down. You’re gonna kill yourself.”

  “I can’t slow down.” It felt like he was already dying. Like some unbearable weight was slowly crushing his heart. “I can’t stop. Not until I find her.” Because if he did—if he stopped and sat still, he wouldn’t be able to climb out of the darkness.

  “Hey.” Bryce reached over and planted a hearty grip on his shoulder. “We’ll find her. It’s not up to you. You don’t have to do it alone.”

  The reminder grated against the years of training and experience on the job. He always fixed things on his own. That was part of the job description. He solved problems, brought justice to hopeless situations. He should be enough. He should be able to do it for his own family.

  With a jerk of his hand, he gunned the ATV’s engine, ready to put it in drive. But before he could release the brakes, Bryce steered in front of him.

  “Quit being such an ass.”

  “Excuse me?” He ripped off his helmet to release the heat that built against his skin. “My daughter is gone.”

  “No shit,” Bryce said, ripping off his own helmet and cutting the engine. “And we love her, too. So stop acting like you’re the only one who cares. I know you’ve already lost a baby, but—”

  “Oh, so now we’re gonna have a counseling session on the side of a damn mountain?” Screw that. “I don’t have time for this.”

  “You’re gonna fucking make time,” Bryce shot back. “I saw what you did to Ruby down there.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” What about what Ruby had done to him? Completely disregarding what he’d asked her to do. Putting herself and the baby in danger?

  “I’m talking about shutting her out.” Bryce glared at him the way only a cousin who was more like a brother could. “I’m talking about how you tried to make her stay home while you ran out to be the hero again. I’m talking about how you just pushed her away in the park. That kind of thing doesn’t work in a marriage.”

  His hands fisted. He’d never hit Bryce. Well, not in anger, anyway, but he was this damn close. “She has to think about the baby,” he growled. “This is too much for her.”

  “You’re not gonna lose the baby,” he cousin said, backing down. “I know you’re worried because of what you went through with Matthew. But you won’t lose this baby, Sawyer.”

  How the hell did he know that? Ruby had had problems in the past. She wasn’t even supposed to be pregnant. Yesterday it had seemed like all of their dreams were coming true, and now everything was falling apart, piece by piece. And he couldn’t stop it.

  A crushing sorrow gripped his windpipe. “What if she does? What if she loses the baby? And what if we don’t find Brookie?” That was it, what he feared the most. The one fear he couldn’t face. Losing these children who already owned his heart.

  “We’ll find her,” his cousin said again. “But only together. All of us. And you and Ruby fighting on the same side.”

  Guilt wormed through him, tunneling through the walls he’d built around his heart to protect it from this kind of pain. Bryce was right. He never should’ve shut her out. The memory of her broken, sad eyes came back to haunt him.

  “You’re about to get married,” his cousin reminded him. “You don’t get to take things on your own anymore. You’re a team. No matter what. Especially when life sucks.”

  “I wanted to protect her.” Ruby had survived so much already. He wanted to give her a happy life, a life where she didn’t have to suffer anymore.

  “She doesn’t need you to protect her,” Bryce said, pulling his helmet back on. “She needs you to love her.”

  He did. He loved her more than he loved his own life. That’s what he should’ve told her. Regret pounded through him as he gazed down at the town below. Where was she? “I should go back.” He had to apologize. He had to let her in.

  “I’ll let Ben and Isaac know we’re heading down,” Bryce said before he peeled out.

  Just as Sawyer went to slip his helmet back on, the radio clipped to his belt crackled.

  “Hawkins? This is Officer Gonzales.”

  His heart stopped. He let the helmet fall to the ground and ripped the radio off his belt. “This is Hawkins. Go ahead.”

  “Need you to meet me at the gas station over on Maroon Bells Road. I think we might have a lead.”

  * * *

  Wind. Oh, that cold fall wind. It bit at Ruby’s cheeks, chilling them until they tingled. A warm fire burned inside of her, fueling her to keep walking, to keep loo
king, to keep herself upright and moving. Brookie would freeze if they didn’t find her soon. The temperature couldn’t have been more than thirty degrees with the wind chill. And a billowing gray haze had replaced the friendly blue sky. Aspen had yet to see its first snowfall of the season, but it didn’t look to be too far off.

  Yanking up the zipper on her fleece, Ruby kept her head down and fought the wind’s invisible force.

  “You need to take a break,” Paige insisted from behind her. Her friend jogged up next to her and yanked on her arm. Yeah, like that was enough to make her stop and sit down.

  “I’m not taking a break,” she said for the fifth time in an hour. And the way Paige and Avery were hounding her, it wouldn’t be the last either. Yes, she knew her body had weakened considerably since they’d started out two hours ago. But she’d managed to block it all out—how Sawyer had been so cold to her earlier, the hunger, the thirst, the clouds descending on her head. She would keep blocking out everything until she saw Brookie. That’s how she would make it through this. She could picture that moment when she would hold Brookie against her heart. She could smell the sweet scent of that strawberry shampoo they used on her hair…

  Warmth flooded her. That’s the picture she would keep in her mind, the one she would hold on to.

  Leaving Avery and Paige a few steps behind, she chugged up the sidewalk to yet another house. The three of them had stood on so many front stoops—had knocked on so many front doors—that they didn’t even look different anymore. As she raised her hand to knock, she vaguely noticed the red front door, the pot of silk flowers sitting on a wooden bench.

  A small dog yipped from the other side of the stained wood. The dead bolt clanged, and it opened.

  Ruby staggered back a step. This girl. This young girl with bouncing blond curls, glistening blue eyes, and dimples in her cheeks. It took only a second to place her. Charlotte. This was the girl in Brookie’s class. Brookie had pointed her out when Ruby had volunteered a couple weeks ago. Charlotte was one who’d made things so hard on her. The one who’d planted the idea that Ruby and Sawyer wouldn’t want her after they had their own child…